Seven Proof Points The Onion Got it Wrong About Boston

March 12, 2013
 

By: Erin
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The Onion, the famously satirical publication, recently posted this overly dramatic article, “Pretty Cute Watching Boston Residents Play Daily Game Of ‘Big City',” stating Boston is a “pretend” city. The post only escalated the existing rivalry between the Hub and Gotham. New York City is in fact, a larger city in terms of population and square miles, but let me tell you, Onion readers, Boston is a flavorful city filled with fabulous restaurants and wicked smart people, as well as the oldest and most iconic ballpark in America. Below are a few proof points about Boston the Onion failed to share with its readers.
1) Our mayor's accent is funnier than yours. Mayor Thomas M. Menino, most famously known for his distinctive voice, thick Boston accent and malapropisms, is the city's longest running mayor. Menino has advanced Boston's innovation, expanded our environmental footprint and taken a firm stance on the Chick-fil-A question. So what if he confuses his words sometimes? The man is the face and heart of the city.
2) Our sports fans out cheer yours. According to US News, Boston ranked #2 on the US' Best Sports Cities List. One reason for this ranking is Fenway Park. With its famous Green Monster wall, CITGO sign and hand-operated scoreboard, America's oldest baseball park is as Bill “Spaceman” Lee put it, “A place where people go to worship.”
3) We make our own coffee. Dunkin' Donuts originated right outside the Hub in Quincy, Mass. and is one of Bostonians' favorite go-to places for a caffeine kick. Don't forget, “America Runs on Dunkin'.”
4) We heart big ideas, smart people. Not only is Boston home to several notable universities like MIT and Harvard, but our community supports innovation. The number of patents issued per 100,000 people is 95.1 in Boston versus New York City's 30.3. And most recently, Menino coined Boston's Waterfront as the city's new center for innovation, welcoming hundreds of new up-and-coming startups.
5) This is the home of America's first public garden. The Boston Public Garden was established in 1837 by philanthropist Horace Gray. It's the place where Bostonians go to smell late-blooming flowers, watch ducks swimming on ponds, relax on the abundant green space and enjoy the Boston skyline.
6) We don't have room for chain restaurants. From succulent lobster rolls on the Waterfront to homemade fra diavolo sauce in the historic North End, Boston's restaurant scene is dense. A few of our local favorites featuring world-renowned chefs are Myers and Chang, Salvatore's and Coppa. Don't visit our city and expect to eat at a Cheesecake Factory.
7) We know beer and Irish bars. Known for our traditional Irish pubs like J.J. Foley's (where everyone knows your name) and local breweries, like Harpoon, Sam Adam's and the Cambridge Brewing Company, Bostonians love their beers. If you're looking for a wicked fun beer drinking experience, Boston is your city.
If you had to write a love letter to your city, what would it say?

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